Twelve Years of Days and Seconds

Here you are. Here I am. Twelve years have passed. The days that I have lived knowing you will read me not as an editor, a lover or a friend but like a breeze through the pages. You touch and turn me around without having a history with you. There is no mystery in knowing you either. I know everything about you, how you brush your teeth, where you travel, who you visit or date. There is nothing to learn or expect from you. There is nothing to give or gain from knowing you or loving you. You agree to be my muse and I agree to write for you. As simplistic as it may sound I like you to read me knowing I write for you. I want to think of you leading me through images, those shadowing autumn leaves, empty surfaces of unbending ideas, and quarter hours of finding and folding. Nothing will split. Nothing will rumble. I will remain the same, a chosen life, an unchosen fate, large, small, pieces of love, grabbing archives of love notes, a rug at the foot of a doorway or a seat to sit and read to you in my words. Like a description on a ring or velvet next to the skin my words will dare you to constantly seek them out. The wholeness of loving you, loving life, watching passionate kisses of delight at the corners of your eyes, I cannot resist.

The foreignness in my presence, the oddness in the symbolical embraces of joy versus gray, the unmade promises, the ever faithful responses wave you closer to the shore. Closer. Almost as if I want you to remind yourself of retuning home, to hide behind bushes and watch your mother paint or bike-travel through liberation of your heart. And that, you will feel, an unveiling voice despite the limits of nurturing from this end. The hours pass. You will fly away to master a new day and no one will answer the phone you borrowed to receive calls. Everything is as everything should be. I write for you. You read my words. You wonder. I sculpt. You push the glass thin on the table; I pull the suit out of the suitcase. These have the same basic principle. They are transparent, red, white, green, blue, and see through…